The chronic ramblings of a small farm girl starting over. Chronically loving my animals, trying to get healthy & live my best life with chronic illness.
Just like in nature, nothing is ever easy... there are always the wonderful, beautiful, inspiring, exciting, parts... but also the harsh realities, and, sometimes mountains, or at least steep hills, to climb up... if and when you can. We've had a very rough week with the sheep. We lost both our ram, Fred, and, this... Continue Reading →
“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because... Continue Reading →
I've written a million times.... OK maybe a thousand... about how horrible it feels when a writer cannot write. It's the same as when a painter can no longer paint, a farmer can no longer farm (yes I realize these are all references to things I do) but you get my point. My passions and... Continue Reading →
Is what we are doing currently! It has been -30 or colder C for the past several days, and also -40 C. It's cold. Too cold for everyone, except the Maremma's who are in their glory. Even I cannot believe it and I know they like cold, but they are happy, active, and it's not... Continue Reading →
I have never really realized where some of my behaviors have come from since I got sick. There are certain things I've started doing since I became ill, that I recognize that I do. Like isolate during pain flares. But there are plenty of things I haven't realized yet, or am just starting to recognize... Continue Reading →
Yesterday I couldn't do anything all day. Well, that's not true, I actually painted all day long, non stop, but I could barely get up from the couch just from pain, fatigue, and plain not feeling well. The painting was a great distraction and amazingly I felt creative, and was able to focus on it,... Continue Reading →
My last Doctors appointment was the first one in probably 2 years I did not leave and immediately have an emotional break down over. After every appointment I have the same reaction, with any of my Doctors. I cry. I feel hopeless. I then feel angry. Then hopeless again. Then eventually this level of acceptance... Continue Reading →
I've been living in houses heated solely with wood since I was 16 and left home. You'd think I'd be good at starting fires... and the truth is, I actually can be if I have the right things and take my time. I know how. But in the house I often like to rush in... Continue Reading →
And because one of my conditions happens to be Sjogren’s Syndrome, I can’t even cry because I cannot produce tears. I cannot cry out of sadness, or happiness, for emotional relief. I am in pain. And it’s all consuming. I hurt from the tips of my toes right up to the top of my head.... Continue Reading →
